My main purpose for starting my blog was to create a safe space that was fun, relatable and transparent for my audience. But if I’m honest, this post is probably the most transparent that I have been on my blog…ever.
Honesty. Transparency. Realness. Here we are.
I am 25 and feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. That sounds dramatic (and maybe there is a slight amount of dramatics involved here). Regardless, hear me out. I did the go to college and get a job thing because it’s what was expected. Currently, I’m not using my degree and I’m not even sure I want to be in the field my degree is in. Yikes! I understand that I’m not bound to my degree, or anything for that matter. Nevertheless, I’m still left feeling like, what’s next??
I’m single. Super single. So, to all my family looking for me to bring a guy to the next family gathering, I can’t say that’ll be anytime soon. Let’s be real, I am more than okay with my singleness at the moment because: 1) I’m currently selfish af with my time/space, 2) there’s some growth that needs to happen on my end, and most importantly, 3) the way these dating streets are set up…I am O-K! Those who know, KNOW.
I’m optimistic, though…I promise! 🙂
Moving on.
Let’s talk social media. In a culture that is highly social media driven, it’s hard not to subconsciously play the comparison game while casually scrolling. Our timelines are a constant barrage of who’s getting getting married, who’s having babies (I’m also currently good on this), who’s graduating, who’s following their dreams and those seemingly 100% sure of their purpose. It wasn’t until I had a self-evaluating moment that I recognized that I am guilty of comparing my life to what I saw on my timeline. And, it wasn’t even purposely. Social media is an assortment of “see all my highs, but never my lows” posts. It’s important to know yourself and if you need a break, take it.
Thankfully, I’m not struggling financially, but there is always room for growth in that area. And I’ve learned firsthand that money isn’t everything. Cliché, but true. At this point in my journey, I would sacrifice income if that meant that I would be on the path to my purpose. And that’s real. Money comes and goes, but there’s something deeper and more meaningful to being here.
That’s what I’m searching for. My purpose. My reason. What is it that I truly enjoy? What does the world need from me? I’m not sure if those questions have definite answers or if the answer are ever-changing and evolving.
As I write this, I think it’s important to note that I’m not completely unaware of what I want to do (still not so sold on the “what’s my purpose” part). Sorry for the dramatic “I don’t know what I’m doing” earlier on in this post. I’m realizing the things I’m naturally good at or the ideas that continuously end up on my “Goals” lists are the things that I need to move towards. The things that seem so impossible and scary, but leave me with butterflies…those are the things. It’s just that the fear of failure and the what-ifs are crippling me. I gotta work through that.
And that’s where I’ll leave this for now.
What I’m Learning in the Process:
- It’s okay to not have an answer
- It’s not okay to be stagnant (due to fear, what people will think, etc.)
- Self-care during the process is important
- Shut up and go (cc: a couple of my fave travel bloggers, Damon and Jo)
My Short Term Plan of Action:
- Get uncomfortable
- Find an accountability partner
- Take a break from social media scrolling
- Keep moving forward
I hope this is relatable and inspiring because it’s easy to think we’re the only person going through our struggle, but that is usually not the case. So, if you’re comfortable (or maybe it makes you uncomfortable, but you should still totally do it!) comment something you may be going through. Or, serve us a little inspo and share something that you’ve overcome and how you did it!
Please, please, please! Love yourself through your process because it’s real out here.
